Stupid Computer!!!

I can't believe how either stupid I am or how frustrating compueters can be. I have done a couple of posts and somehow they have not made it onto my blog page!!!!!

Not sure if I am doing something wrong or there is something wrong with this computer so hopefully this one will work.

Girls have settled back in to school beautifully. Caitlins teacher seems really lovely and so interested in making her as happy and as included as all the other kids. At the moment they are doing school swimming lessons and this is definately a highlight of Caitlins day. She loves going on the bus and over the bumps. The squeals of delight as they fly over the bump can be heard from miles away. She is so lucky that her teacher assistants get into the water with her and they make her work hard. It is so nice to see Caitlin trusting other people in the water with her. I have thought about this a lot and it must be very terrifying for a little person to go in the water with someone they don't trust when they don't have the ability to save themself if something goes wrong. She can't tell them what she's thinking or feeling so she really does just have to trust that they will keep her safe, I don't know that I could be that brave. Knowing that if they fail her, there is nothing she can do to help herself!!!

She had botox in her left arm and both of her legs on Monday. Again, she showed how much braver than mum she is. You think I would be used to seeing her go under anaesthetic by now but I still cry every time they put her to sleep and ask me to give her a kiss goodbye. I hate the whole lack of control I have. I would much rather stay there and watch. Once I leave through those doors, there is nothing I can do to help her and I have to place my faith in the doctors looking after her.

I do find it hard heading into PMH now. I am constantly reminded of our little friend who went in and never came out again. I know I shouldn't but I can't help wondering if that could be me one day and I just know that it can't ever be. I'm not strong enough to get through anything like that. This whole issue has been wrecking my head for the last 12 months so I finally got the courage up to ask Caitlin's Dr. With the biggest crocodile tears rolling down my cheeks and a definate quiver in my voice, I asked about her life expectancy. It was THE hardest question I have ever asked but I am really pleased that I did because the answer was a positive one. She told me it was long and good. It won't stop me completely worrying about it but it sure has eased my mind a lot.

Grace has settled really nicely into year 4. She is still swimming lots and playing tball but she is happy and settled. She is such a great help to me. Always looking for ways to make my life easier. This morning she got up and fed Tom for me as Leg's is away and she knew I would be pushed for time. How could I ask for anything more from her.

Tom is hilarious. He has learnt some funny faces to pull to get a reaction from us. He is into everything now. Crawling all around the house and pulling himslef to standing and cruising furniture. He hasn't got any teeth yet but they can't be too far away!!!

Legs and I are great!!! He is on school camp and I am busy with school committments. I have put my hand up to be a HOPE co ordinator this year so I am busy going to meetings with the parents to explain what it is about and try and recruite volunteers.

I have to go, I can hear that Tom has just woken up and is needing a cuddle.

Till next time,
Sam